Zoë Bowyer

Whilst browsing through the local papers at work (what a terribly hard job I have!) I read a story about a human foetus being found in a rubbish bag in Antrim by a couple of school kids. The suspected foetus was picked up by the binmen and carried off to the dump by the time the kids reported it to anyone. Naturally, a search was carried out of the bin lorries and the dump. Rumours spread about backstreet abortion clinics and locals laid bunches of flowers at the site where the rubbish bag was found.

The remains were eventually found and tested and I can’t help but laugh as it was only a fucking dead rodent! All those people spent good money on flowers for a dead rat! All those people searched through the dump for a dead rat! (The dump would be a good place to start if you were looking for a rat!)

I wonder if they found T’s cushion and S’s socks whilst they were searching the dump.

There was also a story in the papers about a man with a fetish for ladies underwear, toilet seats and beastiality, but the less said about that, the better! Poor little hen!