Zoë Bowyer

Yesterday, I found my self killing some time in Portrush. I dandered round a few shops and then decided that I fancied a nice cup of coffee. Well, Portrush on a wet January weekend is not the place to go looking for a decent cuppa. Especially not when all the cafes have closed for the day. Close to where I was to be collected was the Wacky Workshop – a multi-coloured hell-hole of kiddie fun. But, it had a cafe and I was tired, so in I went.

Inside, the place smelled of sugar and children. I could hear squeals of laughter coming from the big back rooms, the heart of the Wacky Workshop. Obviously, no sane person would ever darken the doors of this place unless accompanying small children, apart from me. The cafe was full of kids with balloons celebrating birthdays and adults pretending that they were elsewhere.

I went up to the counter and ordered a cappuccino and for an extra 25p I got a chocolate muffin. Bargain I thought. The coffee arrived with a saucer full of goodies – marshmallows and a small flake. Being the sugar addict that I am I had no choice but to munch the flake, marshmallows and the huge muffin. Then I tasted the coffee and it was absolutely disgusting – I couldn’t drink it. It seems to me that the Wacky Workshop is a sugar addicts heaven. The grown up goodies come with extra sugar just to make sure that the adults are as demented as the children by the time they leave.

Well, by the time my man came and collected me I was buzzing. He had been at a geeky dive meeting, where they discussed places they could go diving. Someone wanted to dive in the River Bann which just goes to prove that all divers are insane and would dive in a puddle.