Zoë Bowyer

I am in bliss at work having discovered a slightly out of date box of Tunnocks Tea Cakes in a cupboard. Yay - free sugar! The trouble with Tunnocks Tea Cakes, and Tunnocks Snowballs as well, is that it is quite difficult to eat one without ending up covered in gooey white fluff. Snowballs are notoriously bad travellers - the brittle chocolate shell usually breaks, leaving you with the contents of your Snowball stuck to the inside of the wrapper. Licking plastic is part of the fun.

You won’t find me picking the chocolate from my Tunnocks Tea Cake. Nor do I eat the biscuit first then lick the white gooey fluff from the chocolate shell. I just stuff it in my gob and munch, then check myself for white goo - no matter how hard you try there will always be a little bit of it stuck to your face.

Sometimes writing a little bit of nonsense is easier than dealing with reality. My Granda is very sick.