Zoë Bowyer

I woke up this morning feeling pissed off and blue. Because I went to sleep feeling pissed off and blue. Why? Well, D had added to our online shopping list: ‘Tony’s Chippy 10 Pork Sausages in Batter 400g’. My food morals could not deal with this abomination being on the shopping list. Even worse was that it would be delivered by the Tesco Delivery Man – surely if you are going to be purchasing and eating such junk you should be made run to the shop and back 5 times, do 200 sit-ups and swim 20 laps of the pool before being allowed to buy it. That is not to say that I am totally against junk food – I have been known to get the odd battered sausage from the chippy, I just choose not to fill my freezer with them. Buying it in means that eating it out isn’t such a treat.

Last night I tried to reason with him – even offered to put hob nobs on the shopping list in place of the sausages (I promised that I would not eat them all before he got a look-in, which is why we never buy them). But no, he was steadfast in his determination to buy Battered Sausages.

So, I woke up in a mood.

I have just received a text message from D saying: ‘I’ve decided that some pig offal and flour is not important enough to me to upset you so I will go for the hob nobs, love D’

Row ended.